CONVERSATION WITH A FARANG ABOUT FARANG/THAI LOVE RELATIONSHIP

Mister D. I have read about 6 books about thai/farang relationship, from different countries, different journalists, different backgrounds and languages, and they all come to the same disappointing conclusion : no money no love... and that can go very quickly. I know many friends who tried to build up something in the isan and they all came back totally frustrated, in vain, and some were even fearing about there life, they lost all their investments, car, motorbikes, houses etc. and once they have done the job, the were robbed off... My answer Hi D. You're talking about Isan Thais only, I guess, as I have different experiences from BKK boys who have regular jobs, make pretty much money for some of them, and travel through Europe sometimes. I'm very sorry to hear that poor stories that happened to your friends. But I would say something more. Sure, money is a God for Thais - Thailand is a developing country and advertising is everywhere to push them to consume -, love is linked to money in many ways. Farangs brought the money for long time and splashed the cash to get sex so Thais get used to that. Anyway, Thai boys are human beings as well, and if you can touch them by fulfilling some of their other deep needs, then I guess you can get loved by them. That's something about my experience and some friend's experience, who lives with a Thai boy from Isan and refuse to help him with money. I think such bad stories - like those that happened to many farangs - come from : a lack of curiosity in understanding the differences of each other's culture, some naïveté, a kind of overproudness (the farang, even unconsciously, thinks he's superior to the Thai, so he drops his vigilance and then gets stuck), brings his own definition of love without checking the Thai meaning of that here. I think that if you're strong enough to resist the Thai needs about money (thai can lie easily to get money) and build the relationship on other basis, then it can work. But, sure, the romantic way has to be left down, as the farang will never get such a kind of close and monogamous relationship. Mister D. well dear love-coach, i have been in this country 40 years ago and i have to tell you it was very different even though american soldiers already spoilt the "love industry" with money. Then, i am sorry to tell you there was no money involved in the deal between farang and thai, just, sympathy, attraction and maybe something like love. I have great difficulties finding a real thai-boy for love, even though i do udnerstand it must be not easy for a thai boy to fall in love with a person of 60 years of age and more if it is not for a money reason. but nonetheless i prefer to have a boy who have a job and works, he can meet and work with fellow thais and it is always nice to wait for him to come home. Unfortunalteyl this is an illusionary dream, they want to be your professsional boy-friend and even thai law will order you to pay a certain amount of money if he has been living with you for a certain time. This is why i would do all my money transfer with a thai boy via banks so you can always prove what you have spent on him. Thai boys and girls are very very very inventive and they can find ways to make their farang friends pay any kind of money (which i do understand from their point of view), however this is not genuine love, they will drop you if money will not flow, this is not my experience but the experience of many other farangs hetero or gays....so this is why i am very very very reluctant and careful in getting into a thai-boy-gay relationship. Also do understand in a conflict between a thai and a farang they will always decide in favour of the thai and not the farang, which i also understand because we are in thailand. My answer Yes, Thailand changed a lot, even those last 5 years, I can feel the difference. Yes again, a Thai who has regular job would be less inclined to money. Somebody told me it's the same in a Thai-Thai love relationship : if one loses his job or money, the other guy would drop him ! Well, except money, what would be the reason why a young Thai boy or girl would genuinely fall in love with an old farang ? In western countries, it almost never happens. Why would it happen here ? Because of missing father and a sense of insecurity ( no unemployment money or social security here) ? Maybe...